“For sixty-five years, I have been marginalized, seeking insight and trying to make sense of physically and mentally damaging abuse,” writes Evans. “The heavy load that I was lifting while trying to place others’ feelings first made it difficult to break away. In hopes of healing, I started writing down every memory I could to connect the dots and find the answers to these lifelong questions: Why did my mother resent me and continue to undermine me? Why did she treat me differently from my other siblings?
“Family is not about blood but is defined by commitment and love. When a child is born, the family is supposed to provide a safe haven where it can be nurtured. As a child, I didn’t understand why my parents acted the way they did. A demanding mother made me responsible for her feelings and frustrations and punished me for it. It left an emotional scar that lasted well into my adulthood. I do not deserve to live as a scapegoat for a mother who does not acknowledge or cannot be responsible for her own issues. All through my life, my family caused me pain, put me through hell, betrayed me, took advantage of my vulnerability, and led me astray when I was broken.”
Evans continues, “It is complicated, getting to the root of my mother’s abuse and how it affected my whole life. I have always wanted a relationship with my mother, longing for love and attention. It seemed I had to pay for it with whatever would be pleasing to her or risk a cold or upsetting response. Was totally sacrificing my well-being for a mother who constantly tore me apart doing the right thing? I sat with my hopes of a real relationship long enough for her to set it right. Forgiving my family made me more vulnerable until I learned enough to walk away from the people who threatened my peace of mind, self-respect, and self-worth.”
Published by Hawes & Jenkins Publishing, JS Evans’s heartfelt tale is a powerful story of how the author rose above her childhood trauma, betrayal, cheating, homelessness, and a host of other hardships while managing to survive it all through her supportive loved ones and faith. By sharing her story, Evans aims to connect with those who find themselves in similar situations and encourage them not to give up, but to forge ahead to realize the life they truly deserve.
Readers who wish to experience this moving work can purchase “I Was a Scapegoat Child” at bookstores everywhere, or online at the Apple iTunes Store, Amazon, Google Play, or Barnes and Noble.
For additional information or media inquiries, contact Hawes & Jenkins at 888-430-7450.
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